Life22

Day 13,497 - Bring My Clips Back!.mp3
Transcript
00:00:04 Kevin
Good morning, gang.
00:00:05 Kevin
It is a Tuesday on a Tuesday.
00:00:10 Kevin
And that's.
00:00:12 Kevin
That's for all my male ducks out there, all them drakes.
00:00:17 Kevin
So this Tuesday morning.
00:00:21 Kevin
We're going to dive deep into a topic a very serious topic, a topic so serious that.
00:00:27 Kevin
I believe that Catholic priests.
00:00:32 Kevin
Are translating it.
00:00:34 Kevin
Into.
00:00:36 Kevin
Latin to incorporate into their Latin masses because it is just so.
00:00:45 Kevin
The topic reaches so deep into the human soul and this human human core of like importance that they have to at least put it in the traditional Latin to, you know, evoke it.
00:00:58 Kevin
During during Mass so.
00:01:01 Kevin
And with that said, we're going on our Peter Griffin rant about things that grind my gears. That's what. That's what I know most of you love about the show is that we that we take satire and sarcasm very seriously around here. It is one of the most serious topics.
00:01:21 Kevin
With the video version of the Babylon Bee, at least we try to be.
00:01:27 Kevin
With lower ratings, of course. Obviously the Babylon Bee doesn't an amazing job of coming up with great, catchy satirical headlines. So.
00:01:35 Kevin
So have you been to the fuel pump?
00:01:38 Kevin
And the stupid clip is gone.
00:01:40 Kevin
I know this isn't a new thing, but there's a few gas stations that I think that people have forgotten to take them off of.
00:01:47 Kevin
And I love it. I love it. It is one of like, it was one of the greatest inventions of humankind.
00:01:54 Kevin
UM.
00:01:57 Kevin
It it is, it is one of those things that like.
00:02:01 Kevin
You would trade.
00:02:03 Kevin
You know how they say, well, if I was the last man on Earth, right. Well, I think any person that has to use the fuel pump would be like, you know what? Even if this was so flawed that it made me become the last person on Earth because all the gas pumps, you know, incinerated the rest of the world.
00:02:22 Kevin
It would be worth it. It would be worth it because the gas, the, the fuel, the clip on the the fuel pump is just it is, it is a matter of convenience. I don't know how many of you out there. I even asked Rock, hey, you know like hey Rock what why, why have they gotten rid of them? Why would you take the greatest invention known to man and just.
00:02:40 Kevin
Remove it like they all come from the manufacturer with it on there. It's like, hey, can I have one of those clips? Ohh and yeah, give me a gas pump handle to put on it, you know, to put it on. They all come from the factory.
00:02:51 Kevin
With the greatest invention, they're like oh.
00:02:54 Kevin
I want the greatest invention, yes, and I'll take that gas.
00:02:56 Kevin
Pump.
00:02:56 Kevin
Handle. Yep. And that's exactly what happens. And they they order all these and say, you know, I have a fuel pump. Let me add a greatest invention to it. And then they get there and state and.
00:03:10 Kevin
Local and I don't even think it's local. I think it's state and federal like. Well, I don't even know if it's federal based on this. It's saying local municipalities can have them removed based on state fire codes, they can be removed. It's also up to the operator of the fuel pump and the.
00:03:26 Kevin
Their their their own policies and plus they're they. They have to take into fire safety and liability concerns. That's why they've been removed. Gas stations and regulatory bodies have observed that the clips encourage unattended fueling.
00:03:43 Kevin
I live in Western New York.
00:03:44 Kevin
We have more frostbite up here.
00:03:47 Kevin
Than they do in southern Florida, Southern California, right. As you can imagine. Have you ever been out to the pump? And it is like the wind is whipping and it's like wind, you know, real feel of -20. Well, guess what? What do you think happens when, like, they give you they give you?
00:04:03 Kevin
A handle hole.
00:04:04 Kevin
With the trigger guard in there barely enough to get your fingers in.
00:04:07 Kevin
Without gloves on. So now you have to step out of your vehicle. You have to put, you know you have to do your normal thing, but they got to take your glove off to get the handle of the pump, and then you gotta hold it the whole freaking time, which I know doesn't.
00:04:19 Kevin
Sound like a manly thing to ***** about, but.
00:04:22 Kevin
Why would you take such a great?
00:04:23 Kevin
Invention.
00:04:25 Kevin
And say, OK look, I can use these two fingers to squeeze it, slide the clip in with the finger from the other side and leave it and then I can sit there and slide my glove back on and chew because then the things gonna pop off on its own.
00:04:38 Kevin
They also see those the fuel stations that say like no topping off.
00:04:43 Kevin
I've I've never.
00:04:44 Kevin
I had an issue. I've never seen a fuel pump fail. Where in that it doesn't stop pumping. There's like 8 different mechanisms in line with that thing to prevent it from like it's like a, you know, the safety, the fail safes on those things that if if one of them fails like it sets 9 more off.
00:05:05 Kevin
Like.
00:05:07 Kevin
Most building codes only require one fail safe. These fuel pumps have like 19 fail safes, plus they have fire suppression in the ceiling. That is enough to like chemically kill everyone within a mile radius so that the spread doesn't. You know what I mean? So it's not like a zombie contagion. I don't know why. I don't know why they have.
00:05:26 Kevin
You know more chemicals in the ceiling of the fuel pumps, then it's like they there is a regulation on it too. And it's like they're supposed to have 10 times the amount of like, the largest fire and it's like.
00:05:38 Kevin
The you know the expansion rate on that is like 6 city blocks and it's like you're just gonna just if the gas pump goes off, set off a nuclear bomb because that will prevent.
00:05:50 Kevin
The fire from spreading. It's like, yeah, scorched earth, right? Like, that's great. That's great philosophy.
00:05:57 Kevin
Sometimes we over regulate things to death and this is a topic that hits close to home because it's just so convenient. It was like the person who invented the clip for the the fuel pump should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. They're a Nobel laureate.
00:06:14 Kevin
It's just nonsense.
00:06:16 Kevin
I've so I've never seen a fuel pump fail to where they just start, you know, spilling gas all over the floor, the ground, whatever. And they having a fire suppression to, to literally kill everybody within six city blocks. So why would they? Why would they care? Right? Like, I mean, I guess they would care. They wouldn't want to incinerate. I mean, we don't want to spill.
00:06:35 Kevin
Gas so that we're not forcing the gas company or the the the gas station.
00:06:41 Kevin
To like have three employees inside, turning the Golden Eye key to to the for the launch code. We don't want, we don't want we're being it's like it's like a standoff. Like we don't want the gas company the the gas station to to to kill everybody in a Six Mile.
00:07:01 Kevin
Radius. So at which point we say, OK, OK all right.
00:07:05 Kevin
Put the fuel suppression system down, Sir. OK, we promise we won't spill any gas. We won't spill the gas. Please don't kill thousands of Americans within a six to Six Mile radius. Like 6 block radius. Don't. Don't do it.
00:07:19 Kevin
I promise.
00:07:21 Kevin
That's and it still seems like a dumb compromise, like like, even if that was the case, even if they were holding people hostage like you don't give up the gas clip, the gas clip is very important. It's very important, especially in our area. We got a lot of seniors in that wind chill like.
00:07:39 Kevin
So doing some more research which this is this is this is just a good thing to do research on, right. So fire codes laws so.
00:07:52 Kevin
The increase of risk of accidents from gasoline spills.
00:07:56 Kevin
Overfills, I don't know what an overfill is. Is that? Is that like the part right before gasoline spills or even fires caused by static electricity discharge?
00:08:08 Kevin
For example, if the nozzle fails to shut off automatically or is dislodged.
00:08:14 Kevin
The fuel can spill unchecked, creating hazardous situations right like. Well, that's that's just that doesn't talk about how static electricity is additionally being affected here and pretty much static electricity is coming out like whenever you're touching the vehicle. So like.
00:08:31 Kevin
You know, whenever you're making that initial touch, they always tell you to touch the car first, right? How many of us really do?
00:08:38 Kevin
At which point then the the theory is that when the fumes are rolling out because the gas pump is dispensing, which can happen at any time, it doesn't have to be automatically dispensing most people when you create that static electricity, what is the, what is the ratio of you like immediately letting go when you see static electricity. But anyways, by that point you're already probably on fire.
00:08:57 Kevin
So like the fact that you're on fire throwing your hands up in the air as a human blaze, being the torch you are going to like, go with the pump and it will stop discharging. But you got to think that that you know.
00:09:10 Kevin
Things are already on fire at that point, so why would you like that? Static electricity is dumb argument to get rid of it.
00:09:18 Kevin
Overfills this dumb argument because overfills is gasoline, so essentially they're just taking gasoline spills and they're expanding and then tossing in static electricity for no reason. I mean, I'm not blaming Broc is just finding this nonsense on the Internet.
00:09:32 Kevin
Just like you guys found my podcast, he just was like, oh, I just need to listen to some nonsense this morning on my way into work. And it's like, oh, here's Kevin for Tuesday morning.
00:09:42 Kevin
So another factor, let's see here for instance, like in parts of the US like New York State and Florida, stations have removed clips complying with safety standards to reduce liability and cleanup costs associated with spills.
00:10:00 Kevin
Top and there's where government overreaches because you'll have the EPA in there. Like, if you have a truck on the side of the road and it leaks a little gas.
00:10:08 Kevin
Not the end of the world for, you know.
00:10:10 Kevin
The 90 year old man with a 1992 like.
00:10:15 Kevin
Ford F-150 with those really cool. You know, the really cool side mirrors and the first ever vehicle with a four, you know, with a, you know, when they started publishing EFI on the back because electronic fuel ignition was that the all the rage for the damn the damn kids well.
00:10:36 Kevin
Anyways, Joe Homeowner doesn't have to worry about it, but if you happen to be in like a mail truck, if you happen to be in a garbage truck, if you happen to be in a.
00:10:48 Kevin
A concrete truck or a semi truck delivering stuff and there's like you have a little bit of and the one drop slides down where you would fuel up from and it hits the ground.
00:11:02 Kevin
That it shouldn't be a big deal.
00:11:06 Kevin
Like I've watched people, I've said like I've never seen a fuel pump. Like not stop discharging like click.
00:11:15 Kevin
Goes off every time, every single time.
00:11:19 Kevin
I don't even. I've never tried it, but I don't even think it would fire if people like held it straight out like a pistol.
00:11:24 Kevin
And pulled it.
00:11:26 Kevin
Like, I'm pretty sure it's designed against that too. I've never seen that happen, but I have been driving down the road and seen people's gas tanks fall.
00:11:33 Kevin
No.
00:11:35 Kevin
Seeing people get this is Western New York man salts, a real big it's a real concern up here. Gas tanks fall out on the side of the road spilled 2030 gallons of gas. Well, maybe not 30, but 12 to 16 gallons of fuel on the roadside.
00:11:49 Kevin
EPA shows up and was like ohh the homeowner. Never mind you do do do like resident. That's not a commercial truck. We don't care. It's same fuel. Well, it could be right cause it could be diesel which diesel would be cleaner for the community. Diesel would probably clean the roadside, make things stronger anyways the.
00:12:07 Kevin
I've seen gallons of gas on the road.
00:12:11 Kevin
Troopers are showing up.
00:12:14 Kevin
The guy gets a fix the ticket. Just put your gas tank back in, Sir. Nobody gets you're at the fuel pump, guys. Filling up diesel 1. Little drop touches the earth. Swat team swarm from everywhere to get the guy. So that's the reason why.
00:12:32 Kevin
Because gas that they pull from the earth.
00:12:35 Kevin
Could contaminate the earth. We don't wanna. We don't contaminate the earth with gas. We pull from the earth.
00:12:40 Kevin
That would be a crisis.
00:12:46 Kevin
Uh.
00:12:50 Kevin
So in Canada, gas pumps were the clips were phased out in 2002. Well, that's cause.
00:12:57 Kevin
Canada sucks.
00:12:59 Kevin
That's right. You heard it here, folks. The 51st state, it sucks.
00:13:06 Kevin
Reintroduce certain regions. Decisions often come down where gas station operators waits ways, convenience against potential hazards, not a convenience. It's like the purpose I'm there, I'm there to enjoy the clip.
00:13:18 Kevin
Sometimes I need fuel, sometimes I just.
00:13:21 Kevin
Go there to like play with the clip. Like that's it just.
00:13:24 Kevin
It's like when you have a pistol like it's just like racking it back. A shotgun just to it's just playing with it. That's that's why it's there. It's it's just so great. It's the like.
00:13:36 Kevin
Like rednecks with shiny objects, man, it is just the clip, and then when you go like sometimes it's like an Easter egg hunt. You're just like going from gas station. Yeah. Just they, they they they leave the clip on and that's what determines my favorite gas station like my favorite gas station will be the one that they forgot to take the clip off. I'll drive to Pennsylvania.
00:13:56 Kevin
I'll drive right over the border of Pennsylvania to get fuel. Not because it's cheaper because they have the freaking clip.
00:14:01 Kevin
That's where comes down to. It comes down to my rights, my right to have the best invention.
00:14:07 Kevin
Known to man the gas club.
00:14:12 Kevin
Where? Here's this part. Ah, so the spills unchecked, creating hazardous situation additionally.
00:14:18 Kevin
Ohh and so they're they want to make sure that you are not leaving your fuel pump unattended. Well, you wouldn't be if you were playing with the clip the whole time. So like you're just sitting there watching it work. It's like when somebody's really good at their job, like the clip is awesome and it's so good at its job. You just sit there and stare at it and be like, thank you for not giving me frostbite.
00:14:40 Kevin
You're just pumping my car so great, like.
00:14:42 Kevin
Yeah.
00:14:46 Kevin
Anyways.
00:14:50 Kevin
They don't want you to go back inside your car. Oregon, where it's at inside the gas station to go get a gas station burrito. It doesn't say that, but we know what you're going in there for a cup of coffee and a gas station burrito so you can sew your upholstery.
00:15:08 Kevin
Yes, that's why they're worried and.
00:15:11 Kevin
Drivers have been known to drive off with the nozzle still attached, damaging the equipment and potentially causing leaks. OK.
00:15:21 Kevin
People are also known to drive through gas pumps.
00:15:25 Kevin
Like have a stroke at the wheel. Like just not paying attention. Their cell phone rings. They look down. Next thing you know, they're through the gas station. They're kissing the guy at the front counter with the bumper of their car. Like those things happen you don't like.
00:15:39 Kevin
Like they have like they can only put so many parking bollards around the gas pumps because eventually you can't get to it to get your vehicle filled up.
00:15:49 Kevin
You know what you do to stop? Stop Phils.
00:15:53 Kevin
Don't fill up your car. Let every car run bone dry and then and then there'll never be a gas bill again.
00:16:01 Kevin
I think that's the point of it. I think they're trying to just eliminate gas in general to the point that you just don't.
00:16:06 Kevin
Have.
00:16:08 Kevin
That they don't have.
00:16:09 Kevin
Gas stations we'll.
00:16:10 Kevin
We'll get these guys. We'll make sure they never fill up their vehicle again. They should go all electric.
00:16:16 Kevin
Not anymore.
00:16:20 Kevin
We're on to you. Just want to let you know we're on to you. You're not going to steal our gas pumps and we want our clips back.
00:16:28 Kevin
The turn this they should create the movie ransom but rewritten where Mel Gibson is trying to get the clips back on the gas pump.
00:16:37 Kevin
So I'm glad that you stayed here with me for 16 minutes.
00:16:40 Kevin
UM.
00:16:43 Kevin
And then I had grok put me a list of things that why the fuel pump is.
00:16:47 Kevin
Is important, so I'll read those real quick and then I'll let you guys go to your day where you can think about how nonsense Kevin is. This morning, convenience convenience for users, the clips have always been a hands free option to perform tax while you clean the windshield.
00:17:02 Kevin
Check your phone while keeping your hand stationary on the on the vehicle to arrest any static electricity generated from using your electronic device. It doesn't say that, but we all know that, right? Like that's it's programmed into our minds since an early age when they introduced that.
00:17:17 Kevin
Contraceptives and AIDS, right? Like they told us all about those in, like the third grade. Like, if you're at.
00:17:21 Kevin
The gas pump with your mom and dad. Touch your car.
00:17:24 Kevin
Touch it, physical accessibility so individuals, disabilities, arthritis or limited hand strength. Holding the pump for extended periods of time could be challenging or painful. The clip ensures a safe and healthy.
00:17:39 Kevin
And convenient.
00:17:41 Kevin
Non discriminatory I'm I'm throwing some of these words in because they it's important to to point out that we can't discriminate against people with disabilities.
00:17:49 Kevin
The ADA. It might be the route that we get my clips back.
00:17:56 Kevin
Efficiency and speed, or American, we want that.
00:18:01 Kevin
Pumps look like guns, guns and speed. We yes.
00:18:06 Kevin
Minimal safety risk. With proper use, it minimizes safety risk. If you're not an idiot and walk away, you're not supposed to walk away.
00:18:14 Kevin
You should just send those people to prison.
00:18:18 Kevin
If you send the people to prison who walk away from the gas pump, you would never have these problems. No problems to be had. Folks. I'm getting overly excited this morning about my defensive fuel, gas pump clips, and I'm glad that I I was talking with a friend yesterday about this and I'm glad that I had that conversation because this led to.
00:18:38 Kevin
What I think is one of my best podcast yet. I went on a Kevin rant sober at 6:00 in the morning about gas clips and.
00:18:46 Kevin
It's just a it's it's an wholesome American thing to do, to utilize your free speech to ***** about whatever you want and.
00:18:58 Kevin
I hope this one goes viral, I hope.
00:19:00 Kevin
Hope to have an act of Congress to bring back the clips.
00:19:05 Kevin
Make clips legal again.
00:19:16 Kevin
Log OK.
00:19:20 Kevin
Environmental consistencies in cold climates. Drivers return to their cars.
00:19:26 Kevin
Ah, see.
00:19:28 Kevin
So you can still attend it, sit in your car. I would keep the door open without a clip. You might have to prop the handle. I mean, that is that is what most of us do. We jam our gas cap and then all the new ones don't have gas caps. If you notice that new vehicles, they don't have gas caps. It sucks. I hate driving new vehicle. Give me my gas cap because they don't have a clip. I can jam it in there. Hold the thing.
00:19:48 Kevin
I'm still there observing it.
00:19:51 Kevin
Still have never seen it fail. Still have never seen it fail. I've had it go off early. I've had to go off early. It's like, oh, you've got five more gallons to go. And you decided just to die. You just safety feature and it's like watching the the cage doors all come down around. You're like.
00:20:07 Kevin
Reset the handle all the like *** **** cartoon.
00:20:13 Kevin
Proven track record in places where clips remain.
00:20:16 Kevin
Like parts of Europe and certain united certain U.S. states.
00:20:20 Kevin
They've been used safely for decades.
00:20:23 Kevin
With proper maintenance and user awareness, obviously like even the old ****** gas station you ever go on the gas stations desolate. The guy is like the pumps are older than the guy who's 97 behind the counter with his little straw hat on. He hasn't maintained those things since he was like 12 and everything functions normally because that's what American great products do.
00:20:44 Kevin
Duh. So.
00:20:47 Kevin
Well, gang, I'm glad that you joined me for this. I hope that added to what we had yesterday with your motivational Monday to just kind of just listen to this rant and just.
00:20:56 Kevin
Pump yourself up.
00:20:57 Kevin
Through the rest of the week, so we appreciate you joining us. Thanks, guys. We'll see you tomorrow. Life 22 signing out.